Somebody's got to beat back the ugly afflicting the four-door Porsche Panamera when it arrives. 9ff, the Dortmund, Germany-based firm, is actively recruiting orders for its tuned version of the highly anticipated curve-ball from Porsche. There are no details or pictures on the 9ff website, though there is a rendering showing a slightly abstract version of how a warmed up Zuffenhausen sedan may look. While we're sure the car will be an awesome performer, 9ff will push the envelope even further. It's a brilliant bit of marketing -- basically selling shares in the tuner's Panamera program before the car has arrived. If enough orders come in, the company will be flush with cash to develop the fastest, most hideously nasty looking car to ever wear the Porsche crest. Yes, even worse than the Cayenne and its nostril fetish.

What if in an alternate universe Bugatti says, "We're not going out of business, we're doing a new model in the same market as the Veyron," but it doesn't know what that model will be? There's another luxury car company in the family called Porsche that's looking to get into the 4-door game. So Bugatti says, "Hey, we did this design study of a 4-door wagon-y thing a while back, have a look," and Porsche takes a peek and says, "Hey, maybe we can work with this," and then Bugatti says, "If it all works out, maybe, you know, since you own us now we can share things and stuff and stop losing so much money on each car," and Porsche says, "Be quiet, we're working..." and, well, you get the picture.

There's no reason to think Porsche had the EB112 concept in mind when it penned the Panamera. But if Porsche did happen to be inspired by Bugatti's long gone concept, it would provide some sort of rationale for why the Panamera looks like it does. And that would be a start, no? For more of your own comparisons, EB112 vs Panamera.

To the 'Ring we go, and our companions today are -- in the apt words of World Car Fans -- "beauty and the beast." That would be the Aston Martin Rapide and the Porsche Panamera. We'll let you decide which one deserves which title. Follow the link and you'll find a large gallery of both cars in basic black, un-camo'ed and racing each other around the 'Ring to help cast your vote.

In practical considerations, the Panamera looks to have the Rapide beat in all kinds of ways. For instance, it should get better gas mileage if you get the V6 or V8, and it has more trunk space with 450 liters. Aston's cars have little trunk syndrome, and the Rapide probably won't really change that. But hey, who would buy a Panamera or Rapide for practical reasons? Either way, we won't really know the state of things until the 2009 Geneva Motor Show next March when they are officially introduced.